How to carve a Hub Pumpkin (in 31 easy steps)
Happy Halloween Hub Heads!
Here is how in 31 (get it) easy steps you can make yourself an authentic Hub pumpkin for Halloween. Impress your friends. Be the coolest kid on the block!
- 1) Search your computer for Hub logo source files to make a stencil with.
- 2) Call Jay to see if he can send you an Illustrator file of the logo, because you can find nothing.
- 3) No Answer. Throw your hands in the air with frustration.
- 4) Drive somewhere and get a pumpkin, or three
- 5) Search your computer (again) for the best looking Hub Logo source file that you can find.
- 6) Give up because this is taking way to long, and just copy the logo from the website.
- 7) Open the logo in Photoshop.
- 8) Trace the logo with the pen tool and convert into a smart object.
- 9) Print.
- 10) Resize because it is too small.
- 11) Print Again. Success!
- 12) Get yelled at by your family for not eating dinner and printing out Hub logos.
- 13) Assure your family that in doing this, you will become the king of Halloween.
- 14) Cut the tops out of your pumpkin(s).
- 15) Convince your children that all the cool kids will have Hub pumpkins, and that usual Halloween stuff is for the birds.
- 16) Have your kids clean out the pumpkin guts for doubting your awesomeness.
- 17) Drink a beer (or soda) while you supervise this.
- 18) Cut out the stencil that you previously made.
- 19) Your son does not share your confidence in your awesomeness, so he has drawn a standard halloween design on his pumpkin.
- 20) Carve his pumpkin.
- 21) Cut your finger while doing this. (Optional)
- 22) Throw another pumpkin in anger. (Optional)
- 23) Realize that your family has completely lost all interest in what you are doing, and is now watching Television.
- 24) Push through this, everyone is depending on you, even if they don’t know it.
- 25) Answer the phone.
- 26) Wax intellectual (with yourself) about how Slayer would have made The Wizard of Oz a much more entertaining movie.
- 27) Realize that everyone is now asleep.
- 28) When finished, burn your finger (Optional) lighting a candle to place inside.
- 29) Awake everyone to show them your finished pumpkin. Make anyone that doesn’t share your enthusiasm do push-ups.
- 30) Look at your pumpkin with the lights off, and reflect on your awesomeness and glory.
- 31) Repeat step 30 about every 20 minutes for the remainder of the night.
This was just my experience. I hope that if you try to accomplish the same task, you don’t have as much trouble as I.
Have a safe Halloween!